Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Words tumble out of my brain


my love is kind, holding
me close against the darkness

my love is patient, listening
sympathetic as I rant and tear and sputter

my love is silly, teasing
me shyly as if we are on our first date

my love is brave, exploring
with me rueful and surprised at our life's aging

my love
let the last thing you hear me say to be
I love you
my smart, sweet, sexy, crazy, musical love

a bitter taste you left --
if I see you on the street, I'll
cross to the other side. You
are my stupid ex,
a cheater, yet
did we simply back away from the truth
stumbling blindly apart together?


Quick, pour me a shot of
something strong and keep it coming again and again and
it's tequila I think that does it best, the
blotto black-out numbness. I don't want to feel
if it takes an extra-large pepperoni
pizza to stuff this rage back down into
the abyss, then so
be it.
No, maybe a fast, just drink black
coffee, grainy and bitter. Today I
wish I smoked
-- long cool menthol sticks of fire between my fingers, exhaled frigid wisps trailing in front
of my glassy eyes --
it would give me something to do with my hands
biting my nails.

(Original title "Meditations in an Emergency" by Frank O'Hara)

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